Start of Year 2

Can't believe the last time I blogged was the beginning of April. That's around the time we got pregnant! (Due Jan 5th) Not much to say about how year 1 ended... felt like we all crashed into the finish line. I was so exhausted I didn't even want to think about school, much less blog about it. So here I am, 5 months pregnant and starting a new school year. Everyone who says your 2nd year is WAY easier than the first: so right! I'm so relaxed - I actually know what I'm doing! And I've had a ton of my sweet kids from last year come by and say hi. I love to see their faces, love it.

So far my kids this year seem to be mostly compliant. I have 3 senior classes this year (as opposed to 2 last year) and 3 freshmen classes (as opposed to 4). Surprising to me, some of my potential discipline issues are in the senior classes this year. My freshmen just seem awkward and out of place. I'm sure they'll catch on soon enough though.

Today I had a girl come in to class and just sit there. Standard procedure is they get their science journals from my cabinets where they keep them so they don't lose them, then have a seat and start on the Warm up. Now, of the 4 times I've seen this girls class so far, this is only her 2nd time to be in attendance. But last time she was there, I gave her a journal and we all prepared them together as a class with me helping her between waking her up from sleeping. I figured to myself that day, everyone is tired trying to get back into the routine of school, so I let it slide. But not today. Miss Thing is just sitting there talking to other people across the room, distracting them from doing the Warm up. So I tell her to please get her journal and get started and I go to the students she was talking to and make sure they also are on task. MT just sits there, waits a second for me to go away, then continues talking. So I now directly said, "please get out your journal and get started," to which she replies, "I don't have a journal."

Now, as mentioned, I gave her one and helped her make it, so I KNOW she has a journal. So I say, "Yes ma'am, you do, it's in the back of the room in the cabinet. Please get up and get it." She again refuses saying, "I aint got no journal." So I said, "'Miss Thing', please stand up, walk back to the back of the room, and look at the journal laying there, I guarantee it has your name on it." Rolling her eyes, she gets up and makes her way back there and to her Surprise and Disappointment, there it is. This means she actually has to do work. But of course she doesn't, and after a few more prods from me, some cursing in my direction ensued and we had a little private chat outside. After that - she was 100% better - for today. :) We'll see how it goes later.

Thanks for keeping up with my teaching escapades. Prayers are always welcome! Especially now that I've got a little one brewing on the inside as I attempt to do this job. More stories soon....and here's some pics of the classroom this year: 
This was my board last year, it stayed black until the very end when I let my seniors decorate it. But now I've cleaned it off for the new year.

Left side and right side of the class. And yes, there is Jaxon. I brought him with me for a little company whilst working.

And this might seem cluttery to you - but it's like being a proud mom. When my kids colored or drew or made something for me - I loved to tape it up and display it. :) Still there for this year.

42 and counting

42 school days remaining til I have completed my first year of teaching. WOW! It's moving so fast. My kids are definitely getting ancy...

This past week was a week of set backs though. My student who I wrote about here got in some trouble outside of the classroom and has a punishment of 30 days at the alternative education center. I'm so bummed because we were making such trust progress. When I heard he was in trouble I hurried up to the office to see him before he was sent home and he just hung his head and said, "I'm sorry Mrs Miller. They was chargin' up my sistah, I couldn't let that happen. I'm sorry. I'mo miss you." He has a twin sister whom he's uber protective of - to a fault sometimes. And yet I understand - he and his sister have survived every tough turn together, so of course he's going to go to extremes to defend her, she's all he's got. I told him his protective side was honorable, he just needs to learn when to defend, and when to keep cool. Anyway, he promised he'd keep his grades up over there and come back to see me soon.

The other set back was regarding a precious girl, who is not my student, but she's the "baby mama" of one of my students. Upon discovering she was pregnant, she wanted to keep the baby but her mother gave her two options: kicked out or abortion. She wrestled a ton with the decision and came to me shaking because she was at the end of the time line and had to make a decision. (She'd heard from some of my students that I was praying for her). She didn't want to give up the baby, but she also didn't want to disappoint her mother. At that point she decided to keep it and I gave her the number/directions to Father Heart (a ministry that takes in pregnant teens and loves/nurtures/educates them). She said she was going that weekend, but then I found out Monday she never made it. She went to the abortion clinic instead. The fear of her mother shunning her was too great. I'm sad for HER. I'm sad for the pain and sorrow I'm sure she feels. I'm sad that a mother would force that type of decision on her 15 year old daughter and not simply love her and try to figure it out with her. And I'm sad for my student, who, although he acts tough and repeats over and over "It was her choice, it doesn't bother me", is really hurting inside. He showed me pictures of his brother's newborn baby today and then just stood silently, deep in thought. I asked him how he was doing with a "you know what I'm referring to" look and he quietly said, "I'm aight." I told him if he ever wanted to talk I'd be happy to listen.

Lastly - I sat in a meeting this week with a bunch of out-of-touch, white, educated, middle-class, middle-aged women, who sat around a table to determine the disciplinary fate of a young black male. I listened as they clucked and cackled before he came in and I was so discouraged. The things they had to say were negative and slanderous towards this student and there was no heart or desire to understand that his behavior is a direct result of the terrible life situation he's grown up in. They had already written him off as hopeless and even as they spoke to him once he came in, they were condescending and lofty in tone. It lit a FIRE under me, I was furious. I found my tongue long enough to smile at the young man and encourage him briefly before he left. But the whole situation just has me wondering about the way we do some of the things we do in the education system. No answers or even alternative solutions yet... however, I wish there were more Black Male Teachers though - these young guys need role models in their lives and they're not getting them at home.

Scary to Serving

I've had two recent additions to my already crazy 5th period... both recently out of some type of Lock Up or Juvey or something. One of them really scared me - his resting facial expression just looks mean! We'll call him Zeus.

I really was timid and shaky around Zeus, as he's seemingly always in trouble and others express fear of him too. I think he hangs out with the people he hangs with because they tend to be the only stable thing in his life. But I made up my mind that he just needs love and stability and to be believed in just like anyone else. So I started greeting him with a smile at the door every day, I started seeking to "catch" him doing right and encourage him immediately, and I started praising him greatly when he did well on assignments and tests. He's actually quite bright when he applies himself. One day he finally smiled back and he wasn't scary at ALL, in fact, he was so kind looking!

Before Spring Break I had to give a quiz, and my 5th period (last class of the day) were itching to get out of there. Zeus made it clear he did not want to take the quiz. I handed it to him anyway with a smile and when I turned around he threw it on the floor. When I looked back I said, "who's quiz is that?" and he said, "I dunno." I smiled an "I know it's yours smile" and said, "Come on Zeus, take the quiz." And to my surprise, he picked it up and got to work.

At the end of the period, a few minutes before the bell, he was standing by the door and I just felt overwhelmed to express care and love for him, but wasn't sure how. So I just decided to wing it (aka, let the Spirit lead). And out came the words "Do you have a job?" He said he did and told me where. I asked if he would be working a lot during Spring Break, and he said yes. Then I just stared at him, smiling, not sure of what to say next, then out came "are you going to come back to me next week safely?" He just stared at me, then said, "yes ma'am." Then he began spewing, telling me that "They" (the police I guess) were trying to lock him up again, but he didn't do anything wrong, and all he had was a month left on probation, but that next week (Spring Break) was gonna be hard to not get in trouble. I nodded and listened, then held out my hands like scales and said, "Zeus, one week of your life of being good versus getting your whole life back next month." and I moved my hands up and down as though weighing the two options. He then looked me in the eyes, nodded and smiled and said, "A'ight Miss, I'll be good, I'll come back safe." Then I held out my arms for a hug, and (again to my surprise) he gave me a huge hug. Then the bell rang and he left.

I prayed for him tons over the break, and wondered how he was doing. Couldn't wait til 5th period on Monday to see him again. And in he came, looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. And he came over and gave me another hug, and then sat and got to work. Now he's helping me in class, doing small little things like pick up books and put them away, quiet the other kids when they are getting rowdy, throw trash away for me, etc. It's CRAZY!!!!

Each day brings new opportunities for God to use me, a broken vessel, to love His wounded and hurting children. I really am amazed. I have to hide my surprise when I see that Love really does overcome every boundary. I guess it drives the scripture home when Jesus said "They'll know us by our Love". Thanks to you - my friends/family - who are reading this. I know your support and prayers are with me and I am grateful.

March is the new February

What I mean is, usually February is the month filled with love and encouragement and people lavishing those they care about with gifts and flowers and such. Not so for me in the year Two Thousand and Eleven.

Here's some pics of art and gifts that have been left behind for me in the last few weeks (btw, I removed or changed names just to protect the kids and their privacy) :

  All of the board art was left by girls, not surprising.

These two cute little "fuzzies" were given to me by two freshmen boys. They are in a program called AVID which is an awesome program that takes kids that teeter on the line of failing school but who want to try and it pairs them with mentors and teaches them study skills and habits and how to take good notes, etc. It really has been transforming some of my kids right in front of my eyes - I'm a huge fan of AVID. The kids were encouraged to make a "fuzzy" for their favorite teacher - I was so flattered to receive TWO! :)

But this probably meant the absolute most. There's one kid that I really like and have been investing a lot of love, time and patience in. I've assigned him detention on many occasions, but instead of sending him to the main school D-Hall, I have him stay in my room and help me with tasks and we talk about how he's doing and what he could do better. I feel like this is more effective than just sending the kids away. Once, I asked about his family: he said he lived with his guardian, that his dad was in jail, and he didn't want to talk about where his mom was. My heart broke. I've written about him before here and here and here and here. He's such a funny kid (he keeps me laughing through the craziness of my 5th period), so easy going, he takes teasing so well, and he dishes it out back. This past six weeks I've seen a transformation in him. He went from making Cs to making an A! He tries hard, he answers my questions, he's engaged in learning, and he doesn't cut up and distract others near as much. And the other day, I noticed he left me a message. A girl had written "Lauren loves Mrs. Miller" and he took a marker and added "But 'Dalls' loves her more." My heart sings.

I think I'm just blown away that they sense how much I really love each of them and how well they respond to it. I hope and pray God is using me to help shape their futures and hopefully encourage them to bigger and greater things. 

Valentine's Day

At the end of first period, I gave each of the kids a kit kat and wished them a Happy Valentine's Day and I told them the only way anyone could leave my class today was to give me or my co-teacher a hug. I really thought they would groan, but to my surprise and delight, my freshmen leapt out of their seats and raced to the front of the room to give/get a hug! And not just partial half way hugs... I'm talking full on bear hugs from almost every one of them.

It's a good reminder to me. They come in with their "too cool" attitudes and act like they don't care what's going on and nothing bothers them. And I thought they would hate hugs - and yet clearly they want that loving affirmation of acceptance. They are no different than me - trying to be tough on the outside, but really I just want someone to hug me and tell me I belong.

I always viewed Valentine's day selfishly... wanting to have a boyfriend or a husband... but what made today so special was giving love away, not receiving it. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Snow Day = Blog Update!

Hooray for Snow. I thought I wouldn't want the snow day because I'm giving quizzes today, which is an easy day. But hey, now I have nothing to do but relax and update my blog. Although, I can't wait to read my quizzes... as one of the other bio teachers got this reply to the question "Explain Natural Selection in your own words": 'Natural Selection is also called survival of the fetus'  Oh man I can't wait.

I recently had my seniors (environmental science) watch a video on the effects of population on the environment. The video discussed AIDS in Kenya and how it is dramatically misshaping the population pyramid (all children, practically no one over 30). It spoke of a gel called a "microbicide" that briefly inhibits the virus from entering tissue and can be used when families want to get pregnant but one of the spouses has AIDS and the other doesn't want to get infected. I asked my students on an open ended quiz: "What is a microbicide?" looking for an answer like this "a gel that prevents the AIDS virus from entering tissue." You know? Something scientific!

Here were my two most hysterical responses:
One guy wrote: "a small bicide" hahaha, he took the word to break down like this micro-bicide instead of this microb-icide. That's funny.
Another guy wrote: "something in that v*g*na gel." I cracked up and blushed from awkwardness/funniness.

I've started a quote book to capture more of random things the kids say. One of my artsy seniors decorated it for me, it's way cute. I think I'll include some pics in it too, like this one: one of my student's new haircut. This is the little (or actually BIG) angel who loves cupcakes & cornbread. And yes, that's old school Mickey Mouse shaved into the back of his head.


Other updates:
- The switch to 2nd semester has been tough as I received many new students (transfers, schedule changes, etc.). This majorly changed the dynamic in two of my classes where in 3rd period I went from 20 students to now having 28; and sweet 5th period (which is already nutso) where I only added 3 kids, but wow - everything changed. Feels like I started a new year all over again. So, if you think about it, pray that we get back to a smooth functioning level.
- I got selected as a teacher of the 3rd 6 weeks! Wow, I'm encouraged.
- I continue to wrestle with "Klopek" - he's so lost and doesn't want to be found. Pray for someone to get through to him, anyone.
- I hear alot of gang talk... in small ways like "I won't touch the red pencil, that ain't my color" or "I only wear yellow, none of that blue and red". I got on to one of my kids because he comments on gang colors constantly, I told him it had no place in my class. But it makes me really sad to know that even in Tyler, TX these 14 and 15 year olds are getting involved in things that could drastically shorten their life span.
- Lastly, one of my students just signed with Mizzou! Very proud of him! You can watch him this fall: C. Browning.

Christmas Carol Bling

It's been awhile. My apologies.

Before Christmas, a coworker gave me a super cute silver leaf ornament for my Christmas tree. The leaf is rather big, so in the photo I included a pencil so you can get perspective.

One day, one of my favorite Seniors came up to my desk to ask me a question. This student we will name Dasher. Dasher is a receiver for the football team and he's also an excellent student. As we were talking, I looked away for a second and Dasher picked up the ornament and turned his back to me so I couldn't see what he was doing... which was:

He attached the large leaf to his long silver chain then spun around and began rapping "Carol of the Bells" music, adding in beat boxing, snapping, and a little bit of dancing. "dum doo doo dum, (snap) dum doo doo dum (snap)..." It was so clever I cracked up.

Have I mentioned I love teaching?